New Transitions

So it's a new year, a new transition, to embark upon, a new beginning. Everyone stresses New Beginnings with the new year. Me, I'm really at a point in my life where the rubber need to meet the road. I want to write, yet i keep my writing, my stories, my dreams to only those whom i know personally. I dream but seldom do i act, unless I am pushed and forced to act, or called out on it. Then to prove others wrong I act. Well, I want this year to be different. I want to make my dreams come true, because well, it's time.

So i have been spending quite sometime writing and working on my book. Life it seems is either going to on going with or without me, and i'm ready to go with it at this point. I have a new apt, some new friends, a new church, it seems a new life. Leaving behind the past and moving on with the new. Not forgetting those in my past for i have learned many many things from the people in my past. But I am ready to start my life. And to be who i am. This may offend people, I'm actually sure that it will offend people. And you know at this point, i have come to the conclusion that i do not live my life for other people. And their opinions don't matter. My heart before God is what matters. Though I love people very much, i do not need to surround myself with negativity. So if my blog offends you i want to apologize ahead of time. Because i can not live in the "bubble" or "mold" people have been trying to stuff me into. It's not me, and it's not who i am. If you are going to reply to my blog with a lecture or something that will come acroos in a condemning way, don't comment. Because I'm not writing your blog, I am writing mine. I am writing a blog filled with raw real emotion. Some people can't handle that. If that is you, I'm sorry if i offend you, but please take this as being forewarned, that it might occur.

On to important things.. My life has been quite..interesting lately. I found myself in a relationship with someone for about 7 months. I fell for this person, and was actually happy, but most would have deemed it as an ungodly relationship. God knew and still knows my heart. The realtionship has ended, yet the feelings and emotions are still there. Though i want more then anything to still be in that relationship, i knew that it was heading towars a not so good place. After many tears, the loss of friendships, and after much ridicule the relationship ended. God's plans are greater then my own and i know He knows what is best for me. I started the new year off single, which is hard, but as I said God is bigger, then I am.

After moving from my apt on spring street, i moved into an apartment with a friend, until i got the apt that I am in now writing this blog entry. My new apt is beautiful, spacious and truly a blessing from God. As i live here with low rent, and in the nicest place i myself have ever lived, I look back at all the roads God has brought me down. Where He has brought me from and I look eagerly to where He will bring me in the future. I look eagerly to going back to Honduras at some point because i no without a doubt God is calling me back there. But in HIS timing. Last January I knew where i was suppose to be and once again I know without a doubt where I am being called to. I was told when i first came back that everyone goes through a faze of being very excited about going on a trip but it dies out after time. Well let me tell you something, i know where God is calling me.

I also have been blessed to have gotten a lot closer to my family over the past year. Family always has its ups and downs, but i am blessed to have an amazing older sister, who has truly been there for me through this past year, when it seemed many people walked out on me. She was there to push me, to help me and to encourage me. And i'm so thankful for that. My nieces already had my heart but after seeing them come to my defense when i was wrongly treated i will never doubt their love for me or their loyally to me again. I truly love them with all my heart.

I'm also attending a new church, that has a lot of ministries dealing with and helping the homeless. Which i also have a heart for. I love the church and the Word is preached in all it's real and rawness. I also was asked to join their worship team playing drum. Another answered prayer. God has been doing many great things this year. He is teaching me and molding me while at the same time stretching me in many many ways. I am looking forward to the months ahead.

so there it..tha's my update..i hoe everyone is doing well.