Amazing God

So it is now Sunday and i have survived my 26th birthday. I have to say that as i took a few moments to look back on the last year of my life, I can see how God has changed my life and who i am. It was kind of ironic and yet baffling to see the where i spent my birthday last year, in providence hitting up the clubs with my cousins, and where i wanted to spend my birthday this year. There were no huge parties, there was a worship night. There was no getting hammered there was a drink with dinner. There was no forgetting all the things that happened, there was moments that i will treasure for the rest of my life with people whom wanted to celebrate my birthday and my life with me, not me trying to convince people that they should come. God brought who He wanted there. There was plenty of laughter, tears of joy and a time to remember one of the biggest things that occurred in my life this year, Honduras.

As i spoke to my family that God has given me this weekend i rejoiced at what God has done, looking forward to what He will be doing in my life this year. I spent my real birthday (friday) with a group of people who truly want to live a life of worship and praise to our Savior. Never in a million years would I have pictured organizing a worship night on my birthday. Yet, that was what i wanted this year, to praise God for Him carrying me through and helping me to build my life on Him the solid rock. We had communion on my birthday, sang songs to our Savior, and thanked Him for His sacrifice for all of us. You see my birthday wasn't about me, it was about My God. And it was truly the best birthday i have ever had.

I am very blessed. Where I lacked a family God gave me brothers and sisters who challenge me, guide me and strengthen me in our God. Where i lack community i have been given the body of Christ. It's amazing to know how much God has done in this last year, in my life. People can look and say wow God has changed you, but when i can look back in amazement and say, Oh My God, look what have you done, that is another thing. For me to be able to look past all the crap that has happened, all the hurt, all the agervation all of the fakeness and be able to say, God is Good. That is another thing. For me, to see it, for me to know without a doubt that God loves me for when so many years i just couldn't see it. I could understand Him loving other people, but i'm just a loser why would He love me? But this past year He has shown me in so many ways that i am worth something, I am worth loving, and i don't deserve anything less then being loved. He has created me, Knitted me together in my mother's womb, yet made me unique in so many ways from others. I am not a punishment to the world, but a being made to bring Glory to God. I don't need to defend myself for my father will defend me. I don't have earthly parents here with me, but i AM NOT AN ORPHAN, I HAVE BEEN ADOPTED.

I wish i could really help people to understand what i see, what i have expierenced, what He has taught and shown me, but words can't even completely express all the things i have learned, seen, and been a part of this year. He has challenged me, stretched me and broke me in places i didn't know existed. And to tell others, is hard because they will never fully be able to know or see what God has brought into the light for me. I can't wait till next year, to see what HE will do....